Alive and tango-ing!

I'm just on the train home from Birmingham after doing our tango performance last night and I'm tired but elated. I feel amazing, on a total high - tango makes me feel good anyway, but combine it with the feeling of being alive that comes from crossing something off my 30 list and it's the most exhilarating feeling. I went through cycles of stress and calm - while I was at the milonga waiting for Peter to arrive I was a bit stressed, then I relaxed a bit, especially once we'd danced a tanda of Di Sarli to warm up. Then seconds before we performed I had the same 'bollocks, why in the name of crap are we doing this' feeling (eloquent!), calmed down a little, then the music started up, we took the embrace, I was momentarily thrown when we started on a back step instead of a side step because we always start on a nice big side step, and then finally relaxed into it. It was the most connected tango I've ever danced, I was concentrated so hard on Peter and on the music that it's the most inside the dance that I've ever felt. I had a couple of moments of thinking my legs would turn to jelly, and I discovered that my body's reaction to stress is to get a watery runny nose (classy!) but overall I enjoyed it immensely. I'm not sure it's the best we ever danced, but it looks nice, and by the time we did the second dance on D'Arienzo I was much more comfortable.

Wow I've just realised my ability to waffle, especially when it comes to tango, but I wanted to write this while I'm on my way home before I lose the feeling because I want to be able to read it later and feel it again. I think this feeling will stay with me for a while though, it's a kind of crazy energy right in the centre of me that feels alive and feels like the world is an amazing place with so much to experience and so mug to give if you just take it. Which sounds really wanky and self-help booky but it's a feeling I want to keep and keep on creating. Right, I'm going to chill and read On The Road and marvel at how great a writer Kerouac was (it says in the introduction that he spent 7 years on the road and 3 weeks to write the book - phenomenal). And I'll sort out photos/video when I'm home.